Is Kellie Pickler Smarter Than A 5th Grader

Kelly Pickler of American Idol fame was a contestant on last night's episode of the game show "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader". Rather than editorializing, I'm just going to loosely transcribe a few of my favorite things that tumbled out of her mouth. On tv.

"We're going to kill all those blond jokes..." she declared before the questioning got under way.

We'll see about that.

The game begins:

Category: 1st grade animal science
Q: True or false. Road runners are birds.
Kellie: Is that the same thing as road runner like, the roadrunner- beep beep?... I'm gonna say, it's a bird?

Category: 1st grade spelling
Q: how many times does the letter 'e' appear the following word-
Kelly: It's not in "word"
JF: the word is watermelon (except he pronounced it like "wuhtermelon")
Kelly: oh, I was like, there's not an 'e' in word... give me a piece of paper... there might be two 'l's', but we ain't couting the 'l's'... I feel really smart right now!

I forgot the category. So sue me:
Q: The piccolo is a member of what musical family? Woodwind, strings or percussion?
Kellie: well, we all know about wind... piccolo- like pickler- piccolo...and percussion starts with a 'p'... I'm just going to keep the 'p's' together... percussion.

Brilliant, that girl.

And my absolute favorite:

Category: 3rd grade geography
Q: Budapest is the capital of what European country?
Kelly: This might sound like a stupid question... but I thought Europe was a country... I know they speak french there, don't they?

After much hemming and hawing she went with France, even though she "didn't think France was a country".

Her 5th grader, Nathan I believe, saved her ass with the correct answer- Hungary, which Jeff Foxworthy pronounced as "Hungry". With the emphasis on the first syllable. You know, like how "hungry" you get when you're convinced you're going to starve to death.
Anyways, Kellie's reply upon hearing the correct answer was "I've never heard of it. I've heard of Turkey but..."

Uh-huh.

Category: 3rd grade US History
Q: Which of the following people was a US president? John Hopkins, Franklin Pierce or Brigham Young?
Kellie: I want to say... it's Pierce. Because I have my ears pierced. It's pierced... my last name starts with P... Franklin Pierce.

Surprisingly she talked herself into the right answer using this bizzare alliterative thought process. After tripping onto the right answer she exclaimed, "I could be a rocket scientist".

Not like a train-wreck waiting to happen. It was like watching a train wreck as it was happening. And it didn't last nearly long enough.

Somehow, she made it to $50,000 before having to call the game. All of her winnings (brought to you courtesy of some very smart 5th graders) are going to the American Red Cross and an AARP charity for grandparents who are raising their grand kids. I'm going to be a bitch and go out on a limb here to say that perhaps some of that charity money should go into the Albemarle education system.

Just like a rocket scientist, folks.

See for yourself at Fox network's website for
Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.