Someone, Stop The Madness!

I'm not much of a gamer. There was a time when I bought myself a Playstation 2 and spent all night trying to beat games (Parasite Eve comes to mind). But those days are long gone. Video games of such type just don't interest me before. I did go a little Sims crazy (pc version) when it first came out several years ago. Dh and I were dating at the time, and I think he found it a little confusing when I would tell him about how Barbra Simovich or whatever I named her, died in the swimming pool because she was apparently very tired and I didn't know it. So she swam when she should have been sleeping and then, poof, there was the grim reaper and then she was gone. Leaving behind nothing but a small gray tombstone on the side of the swimming pool. There were times he wasn't sure about whether I was talking about real people or not. I stopped playing a few years go,until Sims 2 came out. But after I had a family of my own, I felt guilty spending any time trying to take care of simulated people- getting kids off to school so they wouldn't be taken to juvy- when I had my own kids right outside the room to feed and change and play with.

But dh is a gamer, through and through. When we first met, I would go visit him in his room and he would be playing Unreal Tournament on his computer.

I do enjoy watching him play, though. Sometimes. Dead Rising, a zombie game that came out earlier this year, was fun to watch. The MC (main character) was a photographer. So in addition to fighting for his life because the helicopter pilot couldn't get him out of that zombie infested town soon enough, he got to take pictures for points. Super duper extra points for "action shots": catching zombies taking chunks of flesh off of cartoony characters who were neither smart nor fast enough to protect themselves. Part of the MC's mission in the game is to find "survivors" (video game morons hiding behind the counters, crying like babies while the zombies close in on them, instead of being quiet and trying to find themselves a really safe place) and bring them to safety- which is a store room or something like that (the setting is a mall). So he (Frank) goes out, kills some zombies, takes a few pictures, gets survivors and brings them to safety. Some of these "survivors" are whiny babies which made me think that Frank should have just left them behind since they obviously don't appreciate being brought out of danger by some brave and compassionate stranger. One of the prizes you get after you've killed like, a million thousand zombies or something like that, is a pitchfork which you can mount onto a shopping cart and just drive right through hordes of zombies, goring them right through the middle along the way. It was pretty funny. And then there was the freakazoid cult that had taken over the theater or something like that.

I liked watching that game.

And the more recent game I didn't mind sitting through was Bioshock. That game is about an underwater utopia created by a man who became disillusioned with the growing oppressive political and religious authorities in the "real world". And so he builds an underwater city as a utopia, which he believes will become an exemplary example of the way humankind is supposed to be. Things go incredibly awry, and this is where the MC, Jack, comes in. He is in a plane crash and happens upon this once-utopian underwater city. But it is in shambles, and society has become the exact opposite of the vision that Ryan, the city's founder, had for it. A good deal of the plot has to do with genetic alterations serving or destroying Rapture. Then there are these little girls, harvesters, who go are also genetically mutated, and go around harvesting blood from corpses laying around what's left of the city.

What I like about Bioshock was the plot was interesting, and the visuals were phenomenal. Rapture, being created in the 1950's, had a really interesting art deco look throughout. And the dialogue was interesting and well written.

This latest game- Mass Effect- is some space age game in which the dialogue is truly terrible in incredibly astronomical proportions. According to dh, Mass Effect has received very good reviews- including for it's dialogue. I'm not sure who these wackadoo's are that think that the dialogue in this game is any good. But I disagree with them, whole heartedly. Just being in the same room and hearing half the crap that spews out of these characters's mouths is painful in a way that would make military interrogators proud! As a new form of torture they could just sit their detainees down in a room, make sure they're handcuffed and lock them in. Then they would make them watch someone play this game. For hours at a time. After sitting through an hour of this game, I am sure the detainees will break, and spill everything they know, if only the game would be stopped.

For the love of God, just make it stop!

But I sit out here, because I am trying to be a loving wife- I like dh's company. And he, mine. I just hate this stupid game. It makes me hostile and prone to mocking whenever the characters begin talking. Consider the fact that I am already in a terrible mood today, and my feelings about this game multiply a hundred-million-thousand fold. Bad, bad, bad. I think it's just bad.

But I'll let him play until he's ready to retire. I'll just finish reading Carpe Demon, or work on the sock that I've recently frogged 52 rows of, and try to ignore the noises emanating from the speakers.

I need these Bose headphones- the ones that cancel out sound. I need them, and I need them NOW! But they're like, $200 or more.

*sigh*

Would anyone like to donate to my "stop the Mass Effect dialogue and help me save my sanity" charity?

Pretty please?

With a cherry on top.