The Battle of Wills

An entire afternoon lost due to me fighting a war of wills on two fronts. And I won. At least, I tell myself I won.

The girls were supposed to clean their room today. I offered each of them a piece of candy and a quarter once the job was complete. Excited about the prospect of getting some yummy candy, they scurried to their room. I'm not entirely sure they started cleaning right away, although A. did come out within the first half hour to tell me that "cleaning is boring". Well, no shit kid, but ya gotta do it. Well, I didn't tell her that. It was something more along the lines of, "I know. But if you do it you'll have your candy and quarter". She returned to her room where rustling was heard for awhile. Eventually (maybe an hour later) they both resurfaced with the request to look at their room for approval so they could get their promised reward. It was better, not to say that it still wasn't messy. There were loose pieces of paper scattered here and there, socks and clothes and toys peeking out from under S.'s bed. On all sides. Random toys lay hither and yonder, and even more clothes were in a mixed heap on A.'s side of the closet. I didn't know what was clean and what wasn't, so it all had to go into the laundry room. I told them to pick up the rest of the stuff. A. asked, "what stuff? I don't see anything else on the floor." Seriously, kid. I take the time to point it out, again and leave them to the rest. S. kept popping in and out of the room, followed by, "mom! S. isn't helping me clean!" I told her to just do it and she'll get candy and money and S. won't. So, since S. didn't want to help clean, I put her in the corner and told her she had a choice. She could stand in the corner or she could help A. clean. In the beginning, she would repent and then head back to the bedroom, where I would hear A. call out again about how S. wasn't helping. So for the next hour (yes, hour) it was, "get in the corner, S. Stay in the corner! STAY IN THAT CORNER!" It got to the point where she spent an hour in and out of the corner because she wouldn't help clean, yet wouldn't stay put.

A. gave a much more exciting performance when she decided she didn't want to clean anymore. Not even for candy and money (whose kid is this, anyways?). So, she too went into a corner. Where she wailed. And wailed. "I'm going to be good!" she promised, "I'm going to be good!" I finally let her out, where she loudly informed me that she wasn't going to clean anymore. Okay, back to the corner for a bit. So there was more wailing and gnashing of teeth before she decided she would again promise to finish her room. But by then my promise of reward became null and void. On account of having to ride their ass when they kept coming in and out to tell me they were bored of cleaning and/or weren't going to do it anymore. When she realized she woulnd't be getting her goodies after that, the no-shit-I'm-outta-my-fucking-mind hysterics began. But this time, her flair for the dramatic began to take over, which was quite entertaining, I must say.

First there was, "but I'll clean my room! I want my candy!" Then the classic line, "it's just not fair!" showed up. She ran from the kitchen to her room the first time screaming that the whole time. I came in with a trash bag to start getting rid of all the junk as she sat on the floor beside me. Hot tears were streaming down her face. I was tossing clothes and toys out of the closet to be sorted and put in the laundry room. That broke her even more. "You want me to clean my room and you're making a mess!"

"Yes, so we can clean it up." I told her. But you can't reason with a hysterical child. More wailing, less cleaning. More time in the corner. At one point she told me that I had "broken (her) heart" (yes, she really said that to me) and she was going to make me pay. So then came the flurry of, "if you don't give me my candy I won't love you anymore!" To which I respond, "that's very sad but you're still not getting candy, sorry. Those are very mean words, so why don't you go back into the corner for a little while?"

"No, I love you ! I love you!" she repeated. I shook my head. "Sorry." And on and on. I'll spare you the entire act, but I have to tell you that at one point, she was so filled with frustration and rage that when she got sent back to the corner again, she ran, almost tripped over her own feet and stumbled half-way there. Her arms flailing around her head the whole time. It makes me giggle just thinking about it right now. I'm so bad.

They were told to clean their room at 2:45. This went on until about 5:15. A. did eventually calm down, change her mind and clean up some more after I told her she could try again for some candy after dinner. S. stayed in the corner until dh came home at about 5. Nevertheless, the room is now clean. A. got the crayon and marker off of her closet door, dresser drawers and half of the crayon marks that had been scribbled in various places on her ladder (gotta love Mr. Clean Magic Eraser! She was totally impressed when I showed her how it worked and then turned it over to her to clean up. "It is like magic!")

The entire afternoon was a series of battles of wills between the girls and I. But the room is finally looking habitable with A.'s help, and S.- well, S. just wasn't willing to bend. Seriously, when given the option between cleaning for prizes or standing in the corner, she headed straight to the corner. Every time. Not that she would stay there, she wandered out occassionally, earning her more time in the corner (the clock starts over when they leave the corner. I'm a bitch. I know.) but that was her decision. What do you think that is all about?!!!

So, as I said, I like to think I won.