The worst movie EVER!!!

Okay, so onto the worst movie ever, which I was angrily contemplating ending midway through anyways because I was so fed up.

28 Weeks Later.

First I have to point out that I don't watch scary movies very much. Hardly at all, really. There are several reasons for this:

1- I have this imagination that runs away at the weirdest shit, at the worst times. For example, I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose when it came out. HUGE MISTAKE! Typically I avoid anything involving demonic forces, but for some reason I was enthralled. I had to see it. I could barely sleep for days, and when I woke up at those odd hours of the morning like I sometimes (usually) do I would get SO FREAKED I could hardly get back to sleep. I prayed myself to sleep, every single time, and tried to convince my psyche that I was a grown woman and should not be afraid of such things. And then I rolled over and grabbed dh and squeezed him tight because it made me feel better. As a result, I will NEVER see such a movie again. You have my word.

2- The ones I do decide to watch are usually incredibly stupid.

Having said that, I have to say that I agreed to watch 28 Weeks Later because it's a zombie movie. Zombie's don't really scare me because (as far as I know) they are completely fictional. And because I saw 28 Days Later and I HATED it! So I had to see this one to see if it was as terrible (fucked up logic, I know. But that's me.) Having watched only the first half or so I have to say that this movie far exceeded my expectations. Not only was it terrible, like the first one, it was WORSE!!!

And now that I'm getting over the snake thing, I'm back to being agitated the way I was as we were watching the whole fucking debaucle unfold.

I realize that it's FICTION. And something like science-fiction, at that. But when I do decide to watch a scary movie, I like my characters to be smarter than the monsters. And I like them to get into shitty situations because something smart they were trying to do went awry or was impeded and then they have to find their way out of that. I do NOT like watching stupid people do stupid things to bring catastrophic shit upon themselves and others, and then CONTINUE to do stupid things until the final credits.

And this is my problem with this GOD AWFUL movie.

SPOILER ALERT!!! IF YOU INTEND TO EVER WATCH THIS DISASTER OF A FILM, DO NOT READ ON.

England has been wiped out because of a catastrophic infestation of the "Rage virus" which makes people "mindlessly violent" (gotta love Wikipedia).

Let me tell you, first, what I did love about the first movie. The virus which turned people basically into zombies started with monkeys in a lab which were infected, for whatever reason, with this (man made?) virus. Some animal rights activists thought they'd "do the right thing" and free those poor, abused creatures. HAHA! So they do, and the rest-well, the rest turns into these terrible movies.

Anyways, the whole country is quarantined as the virus spreads quickly through the cities and towns, resulting in the complete devastation of the entire country. The last of the infected people eventually starve to death, and so the country becomes safe for cleaning up and rebuilding and reinhabitation. This is where the sequel picks up.

Some time before the destruction of Britain, a group of survivors living together in what is supposed to be a very well reinforced house in the country hears a pounding at the door crying accompanied by a frantic cry for help. It turns out to be a little boy. Alice wants to let the boy in because "he's a boy", despite the protests from others in the house. Meanwhile, some downtrodden idiot survivor is mourning the absence of her boyfriend, who ran out on them, for some reason, some time ago. Because she's an idiot, she thinks that he is going to come back. Quite alive and normal and uninfected, to boot. No one can seem to convince her otherwise. This is critical.

So there's this boy, Alice wins, they quickly let him in. As he stuffing his face with what looks like penne, they ask him who he's running from.

"My mum, my dad… the others." It's pretty clear those "others" are hankering for a chunk of his flesh. They are(DUH!!) infected.

"How many others."

"Loads."

Loads, this kid says. So then this idiot girl (the one who's delusional and thinks her brilliant and darling boyfriend will return any minute now) goes upstairs and takes some of the stuff keeping zombies out, off of the window, thereby exposing herself to the "loads" of infected people closing in on this little boy. Crazy blood shot eyes attached to a snarling mouth appear in the sliver of space that she opened up (she's still behind the window though) and then an arm crashes through the holdings and grabs her arm and starts gnawing away. She screams, and then chaos just fucking breaks loose. She is now infected, and attacks the guy who comes to help her, infecting him and so on and so forth and suddenly the entire fucking house is packed with infected beings (could you really call them people at that point?). Alice (who wanted to let the boy in, which I suppose was the humane thing to do), and the little boy are becoming quickly overwhelmed by blood thirsty savages. She calls out to her husband, Don, for help, but he's almost safe. And decides to continue being so, and therefore leaves his wife and the little boy to fend for themselves. He gets away with the help of a conveniently located speed boat, finds the military compound that was recently set up to help facilitate the homecoming for British citizens who were able to flee the country safely and were living in refugee camps throughout Europe.

Months later Don is reunited with his 2 kids, who were sent to a refugee camp in Spain, and tells them about how their mother died. And this is where the fun begins.

Apparently, having a military official tell you that you are, under no circumstances, to leave the green zone because it's not safe, is not enough to convince a 12 year old and his pre-teen sis from doing just that. And you know why? So that they can get a picture, because dumb shit boy is afraid he'll forget what his mom looks like. I get it, you're grieving. But really?!! You're going to do something incredibly stupid and dangerous for a picture?!! So the sneak out while their dad is doing whatever official thing he does at the compound. The kids get to their house, miles and miles away (they stole a moped in town) from this compound and start rooting around their house for pics and whatever else they feel they must have to take with them; shoes, board games, whatever. After a nice bounce on the trampoline, Andy (the dumb shit boy) finds his mom, very much alive, although looking pretty rough, in the house. The military shows up just in time to get the kids (they were seen leaving, and then called in missing by their dad once he realized they were gone) and the kids and their mom are all whisked back to the base.

Now they're mad at their dad because he told them "he saw her die" and now she's not dead. So obviously he's a bad person. Anyways, Don learns his wife is alive and in a treatment room being decontaminated and evaluated. She's strapped to a hospital bed in a room behind bullet proof glass where a badge is needed to get in. Blood is taken and examined. She's not necessarily infected, but she's a carrier. Her dumb shit hubby doesn't know this yet. He just knows his wife is there. So somehow he finds her, goes into her room and starts crying and apologizing. They kiss. Like, kiss kiss. Mouths wide open, spit being swapped, all that. And WHAMMO!! He's infected. Just like that. So of course he goes bat shit crazy and kills her. Gets out and begins infecting the rest of the compound.

What I'd really like to know is, why wasn't this chick being guarded by ARMED GAURDS? SEVERAL OF THEM?!!! How's that for being prepared for every possible contingency?!! And how does this guy SNEAK UP on scores of ARMED GAURDS when he kills them?!!! Again, this place was really secure. Wouldn't you love to live there in such dire circumstances?!!

And the civilians are moved into a containment area, which turns out to not really be contained. Oh, and dumb shit Andy boy gets away from this Major who's trying to secure him and his sister because she believes they may be carrying anti-bodies like their mom, and could provide a cure. But Andy just won't listen. And he gets away from the Major, even after she tells him to hold her hand because people are everywhere and they're panicked and hysterical and shoving each other out of the way to get to "safety" first. So he ends up with the rest of the civilians who end up locked up in what looks like a small parking garage, "for their safety" the military tells them. Andy finds a quiet corridor and gets away and then hears (rigorous) pounding at the emergency exit down the hall. And he goes to investigate because he's really kind of an idiot. Even for a 12 year old. It's his dad. Blood dripping from his mouth, eyes blood shot and crazy- then his dad bursts through the door (because, again, it's just sooooo secure) and bites a man who sees it happen and intervenes for Andy. So then that guy is infected and he bites someone else and so on and so forth and then the entire fucking locked up population is infected. Andy, of course, gets away THROUGH AN AIR VENT IN THE CEILING!! Again, what was that about being secured and safe?!!

This is where I stopped, and pondered, quite angrily, all the idiocy that led to that scene, and then the snake thing happened, and then it was over, and then I was mad again. But, I had to know how it ended. You can read the rest

here because this is getting long and my wrist is hurting. What the entry doesn't mention is the guaranteed acts of supreme stupidity which leads to the conclusion. Rest assured- they are there in full cinematic splendor. Or whatever. I promise.

Oh, and they're making a third film in 2 years, making this a train-wreck of a TRILOGY!! In my opinion.

If you do decide you just must see this car-wreck of a movie, and you hate it, you can't say you weren't warned. And if you did like it, well, you're just weird.