And you’re outta here!

I had the most brilliant idea EVER last night. I think it's such a revolutionary disciplining tactic, therapists and book publishers would be pounding on my door, asking me to elaborate. I would happily oblige, and be offered a really sweet book deal, and parents all across America will be talking about how well it's working out for them. It would be the HOT new topic among moms groups.

 

The soccer card penalty system; each infraction is acknowledged with a yellow or red card. Yellow, being the warning, would be the obvious first step. Two yellow cards and she's off to a nice boring corner in the living room. The red card would be for BIG infractions, like throwing a rock at her sisters forehead, or smacking me on the hand to get my attention.

It would work something like this:

Objective: cleaning her room

 

Infraction #1:

Me: Hey, didn't I just tell you to go and start cleaning your room?

And at this point I would reach into my back pocket, which is where I'd keep the cards, and whip out a yellow card. And I'll get in her face just like the refs in the real games (well, adult games Not the kiddies ones. Do they even know what yellow cards are???) and I'll wave it around.

Me: Do you see this card? It's yellow. And it's sad. And that's your first warning.

A (whining): Yeah, but, cleaning makes me tired.

Me: That's great. Maybe then you'll take a nap later. Clean your room.

 

Infraction #2

Twenty minutes later

M: Hey, why are you out here in the living room? Aren't you supposed to be cleaning your room?

A: yeah, but…

A yellow card magically appears in my hands.

Me: Do you see this? You have one more chance and then you can pick a nice quiet corner in the living room and stand there for a little bit (we don't do "time-out pillows" and what not. The corner is convenient, free, and I can keep an eye on her no matter where we are. Cuz there's usually a corner somewhere. And no, I don't do this if we're out shopping. That would obviously be problematic. How would I shop?).

A: But I don't want to-

Me: you better get in there and start cleaning. You have 5 minutes.

A. would slink away. But first she would turn to face me with her hands in fists by her side and growl, "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Not fair, indeed.

 

Ejection

Five minutes later I would hear noises. The kinds of noises you hear when a noisy toy is being played with. Hmmm, I'd think. That's not the sound of a kid cleaning her room.

So I would peek into her room to see her rocking out on her pink Barbie electric guitar. Toys are still littering the bedroom floor. There's a carpet under there, somewhere, I'll think.

I'll step into the room.

Me: What are you doing?

A.: But I'm-

Me: Come on, let's go find a nice quiet corner in the living room.

And because, after two yellow cards, the player is ejected from the game, I take her hand and extract her from her room and would escort her to her designated penalty corner.

 

How awesome would that be?? Once she's acclimated, I wouldn't have to raise my voice, just reach into my back pocket and she would start scurrying to do what it was she was supposed to do (or stop doing what it is that she's not supposed to be doing). Without me saying a word.

 

Maybe I could let her draw on the cards a bit, just to emphasize the meaning of the cards. The yellow one would have a sad face and really big hair, and the red card would have a sad face with tears and no hair. So then, whenever she saw the card, she would REALLY know that I mean business and straighten up.

 

Revolutionary, I'm telling you. I don't know why none has thought of this before.

But really, most brilliant idea EVER!!!